The Rocky Horror Vampire Show
by gryps incedio
Summary: You knew it was coming...
1. The Stronghold in the Rain

**_STOP!_**

_This is not for the faint of heart! This may very well traumatize you for the rest of your life! But, it's funny; at least I think it's funny._

_I got the idea for this from reading all the romantic fics on the site, and this is what kept popping into my head. This fic is a "cross-over" (and I do use the term loosely) of LoK and The Rocky Horror Picture Show, a musical written by a Brit going through some sexuality confusion._

_(I don't own, don't own, don't own anything in this fic!)_

_I'm going to try my best to keep a good story format going, but I may need to switch to script format._

_And there will be sexual content! But it will also be funny; at least I think it is. A bit of an introduction so the story would make some sort of sense, but not much. I'm also gonna cut some parts from RHPS, but maybe not the ones you want me to cut! ;)_

_I will change the words in the songs and the situations of the characters as needed, so don't flame me about it; I'll just ignore you._

_Whew! Now that's over with, great to be back!_

**The Rocky Horror Vampire Show**

**Chapter i: The Stronghold in the Rain**

Nightfall has always been frightening in Nosgoth, no matter what the time period, and in Tamogrant Forest, it was even more so. Everyone knew of the vampire lord that had taken residence somewhere in the depths of this wretched place, and the horrible tales of his gruesome decadence within his secret mansion. Despite the water and the ongoing rainstorm, no mortal is safe in the domain of Vorador.

A shapely figure and her wispy white dress cut through the darkness of the forest. The woman nimbly stepped from rock to rock, avoiding the deep and encumbering mire. Despite the thunderstorm, the woman navigated herself quite well. As she progressed, her wide blue eyes darted from shadow to shadow, unsure of what lurked in the darkness ahead, for she knew the of the dangers this place held.

Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed a moving shade. Quickly wheeling her upper body towards what she had seen, she called out, hoping the loss of surprise would deter her possible attacker. Instead, the shadow stepped forth.

It looked masculine, but it was too dark for the woman to be sure. But what she was sure is the obvious demonic qualities of her quarry. Spindly arms ended in wicked claws as something abhorrent hung from its back, and it altogether was cadaverous in form. It was taller than her, and ghastly glowing eyes stared back into her fearful ones. Lightning filled the stormy skies, like tiny cracks in the shroud of night, and lit the forest for a brief moment.

The woman saw a tattered throe across its face with a familiar symbol, and felt relieved.

"Raziel! You should not skulk as such; you nearly frightened me to death!" she angrily huffed as she brushed soaked golden locks out of her beautiful face.

The wraith hopped across the mire and landed onto an outcropping near the woman in white. "Perhaps you should not be so skittish," Raziel retorted. "After all, I had agreed to protect you for the while, and unlike Kain, you can trust me to do as I say, Ariel." The woman turned forwards still agitated, and they began their journey out of the swamp.

The wraith chuckled to himself. It amazed him that despite how much she hated Kain, he and the living former Balance Guardian were very much alike; both were notoriously stubborn, neither of them liked to feel vulnerable, and both seemed to have an unearthly knowledge of Nosgoth. As he followed close behind Ariel, he could not help but stare at her. She was so different from all her surroundings, so pure and phantasmal as she carefully strode, her wispy dress catching the slight breeze through the storm. He still did not understand how she managed to find him, or even knew of his presence, when he acidentally found himself in the time period years before the corruption of the Pillars, and years before Ariel assumed her role as Balance Guardian. She demanded to accompany him to the time period to which he first was transported by Kain, and how could he refuse?

Ariel spoke, snapping the wraith out of his thoughts. "We need to find shelter soon, or I really will find my death." She stopped and turned towards Raziel, an idea showing in her expression. "Did we not past a stronghold not far from here? We could ask for refuge from this awful rain there."

The wraith winced at this, yet it was not as if they had much of a choice.

The two slowly navigated the path towards the Stronghold, while the storm intensified. Lightning struck often now, and it was fast becoming a tempest. And as they trekked through the night, Ariel began to sing.

In the velvet darkness Of the blackest night,  
Burning bright,  
There's a guiding star.  
No matter what or who you are.

As she finished her last phrase, from over the cliff overlooking a small lake, the well-lit stronghold pierced the night sky. Raziel joined her.

There's a light Over at the Sarafan place;  
There's a light Burning in the fireplace.  
There's a light, light,  
In the darkness of everybody's night.

Unseen to the wraith and former Guadian, a man peered out of a great window within a tower in the Stronghold, taking note of their arrival. Lost in thoughts of his great plan, the plan that would set prophecy into motion and save Nosgoth, he absently stroked his jet goatee.

Darkness must go down the river of night's dreaming Flow morphia slow, let the sun and light come streaming into my life Into my life...

Ariel and Raziel proceeded to the main gates.

There's a light Over at the Sarafan place;  
There's a light Burning in the fireplace.  
There's a light, light,  
In the darkness of everybody's night.

The wraith heavily knocked upon the great oak double doors. The two heard the jingle of chains and the clank of latches from behind the entrance. Finally, the door opened, and a man dressed in maroon robes and a peculiar breastplate reminescent of a ribcage greeted them with uncompromising, pupiless eyes.

"Hello," the man greeted unemotionally.

Raziel recognised his attire as that of the Death Guardian. "Well met! I am Raziel and this is my friend Ariel," he continued, ushering the woman forward into the man's view. "I wonder if you could help us. You see, she needs shelter and we were hoping you have a spare room or two."

The Death Guardian stared blankly back at them. "You're wet."

"Yes," Ariel incrediously stated. "It's raining."

"Oh." The maroon robed man turned, his matching cape florishing behind him. "Perhaps you both better come inside." The Death Guardian smirked as they followed him.

* * *

_Dun dun dunnnnn! What will happen? Well, when I post another chappy, you'll know, now wouldn't ya?_

_Review, please!_


	2. The Party

_WOW! OMG! I'm back to writing! Now if i could just keep my bloody muse long enough..._

_Singing is in italics_

_So, continuing with..._

**The Rocky Horror Vampire Show!**

**Chapter ii: The Party**

Mortanius could not believe his luck! He knew someone would be along sometime, but he did not expect them so soon. He smiled to himself as Ariel and Raziel walked past him and the ornate steps leading to the second floor, closing the large oak doors of the Keep. As he turned to the guests and regarded them in silent contemplation, he could almost feel their uneasiness radiating. As they should be, little did they know of the true horrors of this place. The Death Guardian smirked to himself once more; horrors indeed!

Well, time to give Fate a bit of a push...

"This way."

As they turned to follow Mortanius, who was beginning to proceed what was obviously the main hallway, Ariel nervously asked, "Are you having a party?"

The maroon robed man stopped and faced them. Inane questions never cease, do they? "You have arrived on a rather special night," he intoned with a smile not unlike that of a shark's. "It's one of the master's affairs."

"Oh. Lucky him." Still, the blonde woman was nervous; she leaned against the blue wraith, seeking comfort. So distracted were they that a lone bald woman scantily clad in royal blue robes with saguine trimmings and a great collar, did not catch their eye. Both jumped in surprise as she began to speak.

"Your lucky," she almost whispered in response, yet as she continued, she increased her volume until she was almost madly screeching, "he's lucky, I'm lucky, we're all lucky!" She ended with a mad cackle, the crimson collar bouncing, as she tossed a feather duster at the dour Guardian, who caught it with ease. Both travelers immediately recognised her as none other than the Matriarch herself, Lady Azimuth of Dimension!

Mortanius gave her a grin as he moved away from a befuddled Ariel and Raziel, towards various banisters and tapestries hanging from the ornate walls. As if forgeting he had guests to attend, he began the tedious job of dusting the Fortress. The wraith lifted a single eyebrow as he watched the Death Guardian's strange behaviour. Mortanius approached one of the wooden boxes in which archers hide and opened it, revealing a armor clad skeleton covered in cobwebs. The dour man dusted the corpse as he sung:

_It's astounding;  
Time is fleeting;  
Madness takes it's toll..._

He then closed the coffin-like contraption and stepped away with the previous Balance Guardin and wraith in close tow. He faced them once more.

_But listen closely..._

_Not for very much longer_, Azimuth chanted back, once again startling the two.

Meanwhile, Mortanius began to breathe deeply, as if he was trying to calm himself.

_I've got to keep control._

As if a dam broke, the Death Guardian sang at the top of his lungs.

_I remember doing the Time Warp _

_Drinking those moments when_

_The darkness would hit me_

He ran about the room dancing with various wall ornaments, as Azimuth joined his festivities.

_And the voice would be calling..._

They ran from the room, hand in hand, with the two heroes following in confusion. They burst through another set of oak doors into the main hall, where the party was raging full force. Celebratory decorations hung from the ceiling and walls and food was piled upon various tables shoved to the walls. A five member band played various instruments as Sarafan men and women dressed in their fine armors, their faces painted in rouge and mascara, danced and sang about the hall in gleeful insanity.

_Let's do the time warp again!  
Let's do the time warp again!_

Ariel promptly fainted, with Raziel stopping her from falling.

_It's just a jump to the left.  
And a step to the right!  
With your hands on your hips,  
You bring your knees in tight;  
but it's the pelvic thrust That really drives you insane!_

_Let's do the time warp again!  
Let's do the time warp again!_

As the soldiers of the Fortress went about their gaiety, and the former Balance Guarian regained her composure, Mortanius and Azimuth practically shoved Ariel and Raziel into the hall, as the Matriarch began dancing seductively about them.

_It's so dreamy, O fantasy free me;  
So you can't see me, no not at all.  
In another Dimension, with voyeuristic intention,  
Well secluded, I see all._

Mortanius grabbed a piece of bread from the floor, once again as grim as before, dusted it with his sleeve and offered it to the wide eyed blonde, who kindly refused, as he added:

_With a bit of a mind flip_

_You're into the time slip_, Dimension huskily rasped, rubbing against a wall pillar.

The dour man began eating the bread as he continued:

_And nothing could ever be the same._

Azimuth slinkly approached the duo:

_You're spaced out on sensation!_

_Like you're under sedation!_ cried Mortanius, causing Ariel to pass out. Raziel was just as quick to catch her this time as Death and Dimension began dancing with each other, joining the frenzied Sarafan.

_Let's do the time warp again!  
Let's do the time warp again!_

As he fanned the blonde woman to reawaken her, the crowd cleared the way across the hall enough for the Soul Reaver to spot a platform and another Guardian from Nosgoth's past. Dejoule of Energy, brightly glowing from underneath her lead derka, sat upon the armrest of what appeared to be a throne. Ariel again came to her senses as Dejoule began her solo verse:

_Well I was walking down the street just having a think When this snake of a guy gave me an evil wink.  
He shook me up, he took me by surprise He had a pickup truck, and the devil's eyes.  
He stared at me and I felt a change.  
Time meant nothing, never would again!_

_Let's do the time warp again!  
Let's do the time warp again!_

_It's just a jump to the left.  
And a step to the right!  
With your hands on your hips,  
You bring your knees in tight;  
but it's the pelvic thrust That really drives you insane!_

_Let's do the time warp again!  
Let's do the time warp again!_

Suddenly loosing a shrill cry of excitement, Dejoule hopped off the chair and onto the main floor and demonstrated her lead boots also doubled as great tap shoes. Slowly gaining speed in her dance, she began spinning, her lead derka threatening to billow too high and fricassee everyone in the room.

At least until she tripped over said derka and fell on her face.

_Let's do the time warp again!  
Let's do the time warp again!_

Dejoule angrily stood and joined the frenzied dancing of the Sarafan as Ariel and Raziel began to slink from the room.

_It's just a jump to the left.  
And a step to the right!  
With your hands on your hips,  
You bring your knees in tight;  
but it's the pelvic thrust That really drives you insane!_

_Let's do the time warp again!  
Let's do the time warp again!_

Just before the intrepid duo slipped through the oaken doors, everyone in the room fell to the floor in what seemed like a dead faint. All the blonde and the wraith could do was stare in shock and bewilderment.

* * *

_Wow! Always knew the Sarafan were freaks..._

_Raziel: And why am I not suprised Dejoule knows how to tap dance?_

_Well, she IS Energy. Heh. That's gotta be a great way to add excitement to your tired routine, though: watching a lady dance who could fry you if her derka goes too high._

_Raziel: Derka?_

_Think about it. A large robe that covers her entire body._

_Raziel: Hm. Who would have thought?_

_What I see in my mind is something that looks like Cousin It from Addams Family, but inistead hair, a lead cloak, with the ends flopping about! You don't actually see her feet, but you do hear the taps._

_Anyway, thanks for reading! Reviews please!! _


End file.
